Bye Bye Haley

March 16, 2011 by · 12 Comments
Filed under: General Chat, Humour, Product Reviews 

Haley has vanished *unhappy face emoticon*

Shortly after the poop hit the fan, Haley decided she’d sold enough copies of Stripped Down Profits, and she pulled it from the market.

Quite upsetting really, think of all those poor souls who will miss out on that amazing 1 click software that will make them up to $237,729 per month, they are the people I feel sorry for, they are going to have to resort to, god forbid, doing some work.

I wonder if Haley really did decide to pull the product off the market because she sold out, or if there was some other reason. Normally someones word would be enough, but after getting my heart broken by Haley Milano I’m still not sure of her.

So I’ll bring up the sales page from the Bing.com cache and try to order via the order link, which I just happen to have here:

http://strippeddownprofits.com/dlg/sell.php?prodData=cb,1

*sigh*

She broke my heart for a 2nd time, when will I ever learn:

“IMPORTANT!

This product is no longer for sale or has been disabled due to a terms of service violation This product is no longer for sale or has been disabled due to a terms of service violation”

Maybe Clickbank actually got a conscience and realized that selling a product using nothing but lies might be, I don’t know, a little bit illegal?

Or maybe Haley got Clickbank to close the account on her behalf.

Make your own minds up.

And before I move on from Miss Milano, here is something to remember her by.

Was The Sales Page Really That Bad?

Yes, it was.

If any of you are glutens for punishment, you can view a full copy of the controversial sales page by clicking on the image below.

Love Always,
Dan “Still on the Market” Thompson

Stripped Down Profits Review

March 10, 2011 by · 79 Comments
Filed under: General Chat, Humour, Product Reviews 

This is not a review of Stripped Down Profits – this is me giving you my opinion on the sales page. I haven’t seen or used the product they are selling, but if the sales page is anything to go by, stay well clear of it.

Start of meaningful words.

Sometimes in life all you need is a break.

A chance encounter with a stranger could change your life forever.

You could be working in a strip club, and a client comes along, gives you money, and you show him boobies (.) (.) roflcoptorpmslw00tetc

But this client isn’t any client, he just happens to be a top secret internet marketing guru ninja.

You ply this unnamed ninja guru with more booze, drugs and boobies than his mind can handle, and you then threaten to show his wife and kids the implicating video of said debauchery if the guru ninja doesn’t show you how to make a billion dollars on the internet.

As I said, sometimes all you need in life is a break.

And well done to the delightful Haley Milano for seizing her break with both hands.

Not only did she blackmail (yeah…she went there) a successful guru into giving her all his secrets, she then used those secrets to become an overnight Clickbank millionaire at the touch of a button.

But that’s not all, this girl just can’t stop giving….sorry, bad turn of phrase.

She’s decided that “Doing nothing but figuring out how to spend your money and avoid paying taxes” sucks….sorry, cheap joke, that’ll be the last of them, so she’s selling the “1 touch money making software” that she’s using to crank out millions of dollars on auto-pilot.

And get this, she’s selling it for just $47, what a gal, I wonder if she’d marry me.

Hmmm, but wait a minute, I’m having pre-wedding jitters.

After commission and Clickbank fees, Hayley will only be getting around $20 per sale, and imagine the amount of support she’ll have to do.

Why would she want to make $20 per sale selling her 1 touch millionaire making software, when she could carry on using the software herself to churn out the wonga.

Maybe my jitters are right, I need to do more research before asking her to become Mrs Thompson.

So I’ll start with the sales page.

And before I go on, full credit to everyone in this forum thread who has done some digging on the product, I don’t deserve full credit (if any) for the detective work below.

The first thing that catches my eye is that Haley used to work in Spearmint Rhino’s before getting her break, that doesn’t bother me at all, I would have no issues marrying a stripper. Moving on.

I prefer Stringfellows

I can see that she also likes pancakes, I like pancakes too, maybe she is “the one”.

Hmmmm, but then she says that her personal chef cooks them for her every morning. That sounds a little bit lazy to me, but we all have our flaws. I can live with her being a little bit on the lazy side.

Do you want a Haley Milano pancake?

As I scroll further down the page, I see that Hayley Milano (google approves of my misspelling) has posted a picture of some gurus enjoying a few drinks in what I assume must be some sort of private party.

Turns out these aren't actually gurus

If I right click on the image and look at the file name, it looks to be a picture of a bachelor party in Atlantic city. Apparently there isn’t a Spearmint Rhino club in Atlantic city, Haley must have got that picture off a friend or something.

Or maybe she’s just using a stock photo to represent what a group of Gurus sipping a few drinks MIGHT look like.

Because if you do a search for “Bachelor party atlantic city” on Google images, the very same picture comes up, and can be found on the following site:

http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/new-jersey/atlantic-city/bachelor-party-atlantic-city

They must’ve nicked that picture off Haley’s page, the swines.

Never mind, I can understand Haley using a stock photo to represent what gurus drinking MIGHT look like, it makes sense, I might even start looking for honeymoon destinations….

I’m getting excited now, carrying on down the page I can see this:

Haley milano fake house?

SHE BOUGHT HER PARENTS A HOUSE!!!

She is the girl of my dreams, if she got her parents a house just because they produced her, what will she buy the love of her life….I want a plane and a dolphin please Haley Milano of Stripped Down Profits. (in that order)

Just out of interest, I think I’ll right click on the image of her parents house, then do a search for the filename on Google images…

Hmmm, that’s strange, Haley’s parents house looks exactly like this one:

http://www.arcadiahomesinc.net/2_story_Colonial_Farm_House_1.htm

I live in a house, a very fake house in the countrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry

Maybe there’s an innocent explanation for this, maybe instead of taking an actual picture of the house, she decided to use one off a website to represent the house. Yeah….that makes sense, I wonder what sort of ring she’ll like, probably something big and tasteless.

WOW, not only did she buy her parents a house, she then retired at 29 and bought herself what looks like a god awful apartment, and she then created her own range of designer handbags.

Stripped Down Profits Fake Sales Page

Again, just out of interest I’ll do an image search for the filename of Haleys house…….WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT IS THIS:

Thanks for breaking my heart Haley Milano

Out of the first 18 search results for “29399440.JPG”, 15 of them are Haleys house. How strange is that.

A little bit more reading leads me to this page:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/09/realestate/09deal1.html?_r=1

Haley Milano lives in an apartment that cost $25m – the most expensive home EVER in the history of Brooklyn??

Hmmmm, that smells just a bit fishy to me, she lives in a $25m home, but is wasting her time selling software for $20 on clickbank?

My Conclusion: I’m not going to ask Haley Milano to marry me, I feel I can do better

My Other Conclusion

Anyone with an ounce of sense can see the sales page is 100% fiction – the story is fake, Haley Milano is fake, the images are fake, so how did it get past Clickbank and why are people promoting it?

I haven’t sold a product of my own on Clickbank for years, but when I did the approval process was a nightmare, if the wording of the page was even a little bit iffy, they’d make you change it. So how can a product like this get past the review team, and didn’t the American Government bring in some kind of legislation to stop these kind of sites?

When did copywriting amount to lying?

Update 16th March 2011

The sales page has since been taken down, but don’t worry, you can view a copy of the full “sales page” here:

https://elpassoblog.com/bye-bye-haley/

(Link to the full sales page at the bottom of the post)

P.S. Anyone wanting to get this “review” to the top of Google, I’d appreciate if you’d link back with the anchor text “Stripped Down Profits Review”, lets see if we can’t do a bit of fake sales page exposing for the greater good. It’ll be good karma and stuff.

It’s Back….But Not in Black

October 21, 2010 by · 16 Comments
Filed under: General Chat, Product Reviews 

It looks like a light shade of Orange to me.

I was going to make this post yesterday but I was busy losing tups, no losing them as in “crap, where have they gone”, but losing them as in “go forth and spread your seed you fine chaps”.

I’ll admit that it didn’t take me all day, but by the time you’ve been tossing throwing them around all day my arms couldn’t really take any typing, so I retired to the TV.

But here I am this morning, arms slightly less sore, and able to type relatively coherent sentences.

So what’s back?

The A-Team?

Meatloaf?

Shell Suits?

Baked Bean Rounders?

Blankety Blank?

Gordon Brown?

No silly, it’s something with fewer explosions but more corned beef, something less of a fire hazard but more tasty, something where you just need to fill in the blanks but less useless.

^^I promise you that the above sentence does make sense….if you live inside my head

FREE MONTHLY WEBSITES IS BACK!!

To be honest I wasn’t aware it had gone anywhere, but I’ve now been informed that Free Monthly Websites 1.0 has been taken away by Tiny – only 3 other people will get that joke, and none of them read this blog, what a waste.

So 1.0 has now been replaced, not surprisingly, by 2.0 (I have it on good authority that 3.0 will be the next one)

It’s sad to see 1.0 being turned into dog food but we do have to learn from the past, and we have to admit that 1.0 did have it’s faults.

It was like a cat we once had, it was very friendly, but it kept falling over.

Free Monthly Websites (FMW) 1.0 was friendly enough to snuggle up to, but you did need a bit of HTML knowledge to edit and personalize the websites. Whilst my own personal view is that you really should have some basic HTML knowledge if you are doing anything online, I’m not here to judge you, and if you don’t have any HTML skills then FMW 1.0 would have been a bit of a challenge for you.

It was also limited in what you could do with it, the creators of FMW (John Thornhill and Dave Nicholson) hadn’t really been marketing for all that long, so didn’t have much of an idea about what worked and what didn’t when it came to the websites.

But 4 years on, they are a lot wiser – John has come to realize that it’s not possible for Sunderland to be anything other than a mid-table team, and Dave now understands that Alan Shearer isn’t a bloke that comes to my house to clip sheep.

They are also a lot wiser when it comes to Internet Marketing.

After the feedback they received from FMW 1.0 customers, they’ve put their minds together and come up with 2.0.

The main aim is to keep everything as simple as possible, so FMW 2.0 has been built on an engine that I know a lot of you are already familiar with, it runs the PlanetSMS/Planet Divinity eBook and software websites. So everything is controlled via an online admin area, this means:

  1. No HTML!
  2. No MySQL Databases

I suppose it’s kind of like WordPress, but tailored towards an all in one solution for creating content rich affiliate websites.

I’m getting hungry, and when I get hungry, I tend to fill out the posts with a screen shot. So allow me to introduce you to what the admin area of a Free Monthly Website will look like:

Free Monthly Websites

I was going to take another screen shot of the front end of a site, but I’ve had some Monster Munch and the hunger has subsided.

Plus there are tons of screen shots on the FMW website that you can take a look at, saves me cluttering up cyber space with duplicate images!

I’m sure there was something else I was going to say, but can’t for the life of me remember what it was.

So for now I’ll have to leave you with my closing statement about Free Monthly Websites.

Free Monthly Websites 2.0 is a great update to the original. It takes all of the good points of 1.0 and builds upon them to turn FMW 2.0 into a much better all round system.

If you were a FMW 1.0 customer, then you’ll probably have already signed up, but if you are a newbie and are wondering what all the fuss is about, please go ahead and check it out. It does exactly what it says on the tin – you get a free affiliate website every month, no strings attached!

Thanks for reading,
Dan

P.S. D9 Hosting now has a Facebook page….and we may actually use it, so please feel free to “Like” us!

How To Create Multimedia CD’s (Tutorial)

March 31, 2008 by · Comment
Filed under: Product Reviews 

Following my last newsletter (eBay Digital Item Restrictions) I got a lot of emails from readers asking me how they could go about creating their own CD’s to sell on eBay. I replied to those emails telling them that it was my plan to create a step by step guide showing just how it’s done.

Well….Someone beat me too it!

Dave Nicholson from Planet Divinity (The design company) has created a product that shows you exactly how the whole process can be done from your own home PC, this includes:

– How to place all of your contents onto CD/DVD

– How to structure your CD/DVD to optimize the simplicity and quality of your product.

– How to make a simple menu system that will link to your CD/DVD products

– How to integrate an auto-responder newsletter subscription form

– How to make your CD/DVD automatically run once inserted

– How to earn even more by adding an upsell to your product

All of the above points are great, but they were all going to be included in my own guide, so what makes Dave’s guide a lot better than mine?

THIS….

1. 5 CD/DVD menu templates for your auto-run disc navigation, complete with PSD source file

2. 5 DVD/CD box templates for your DVD/CD boxes, complete with PSD source file

3. 5 CD case templates for your CD cases, complete with PSD source file

4. 5 CD/DVD label templates for your actual discs, complete with PSD source file

You’ll remember earlier that I mentioned Dave runs the Planet Divinity design firm, so he’s using that to his advantage by providing us with a total of 20 different CD, Menu, Box and label images that we can use to create our CD’s, he also supplies them in PSD format so we can edit them to fit our needs.

So without any further chatter, clear your cookies and then head on over to Dave’s page using the location below:

http://elpassoblog.com/recs/CD_Tutorial.php

Let me know if you have any questions!

Cheers,
Dan

Hostmonster Review

March 8, 2007 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Product Reviews 

Choosing a web host is a tricky business, there are so many companies out there all offering you incredible packages, but do you really know what it is they are offering you?

Hosting is a cutthroat business; web hosts are desperate for new customers and will do just about anything to get you onboard. These will include things like offering you a free domain name, bandwidth and disk space upgrades or special deals on shopping carts.

Don’t get sucked in by these deals, make sure that you do your research before you commit to a company. In this article I will show you exactly what to look for before you sign up with a web host.

1. The Price

Most shared hosting packages from the “big” companies will come priced at around $3 – $12 per month. Whilst this may seem very cheap make sure that you read the small print, you will often find that to get the cheapest price you need to sign up to a long contract, usually 2 years. If you want to sign up for a short-term contract then the host may charge you a “set-up fee” or a higher monthly rate. You will notice that I made a point of highlighting the contract lengths and set-up fee’s in my recent Hostmonster review. Make sure you know exactly how much everything is going to cost before you sign up with anyone.

2. The Disk Space and Bandwidth

Don’t be fooled by hosts that claim to give you “unlimited” disk space and “unlimited” bandwidth – there is no such thing! It’s impossible to find a hard drive that doesn’t fill up, the same goes for bandwidth, any host that sells you an unlimited service should be treated with great caution…………

You can read the full article by clicking here, or you can go straight to the Host monster review by clicking here.

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